My first post “not-at-home”

You’ll probably make fun of me but there’s a first time for everyone. I’m in a Starbucks coffee in the center of Paris right now. I’m realizing right now that i always wrote from my desk at home. And it’s quite different writing from here, in the heart of Paris, sat around so many people. The coffee isn’t bad at all. And i’m italian, so i tell you, it’s not an easy thing to say.

It’s a rainy day, and i feel very sad. I argued. And to be alone in a foreign city after arguing with the most important person in your life makes you feel… well… pretty bad.

But at the same time, i think that everyone should experience what i’m living now.

When you leave alone in a foreign place, you can’t tell yourself all the lies that you usually tell to yourself when you live your [often boring] everyday-routine. It also helps you see what is normally around you with a good distance.

When you see things from a good distance, you can have a full-view of it, analyse them more globally, somehow with mess “heart” and more reason. And sometimes Reason is necessary to show you the correct way to face some problems.

I feel that i forgot what love is. Passion? i guess i lost it too, at least with other human beings.

Sad, isn’t it?

May life always treat you gently.

Be here, Now: Live music’s power.

That’s the power of live music. Especially jam sessions, improvisations. It’s not where you’re going, but how you get there, if you know what i mean.

This is also the reason why i think that every single person should listen to live music. I’m not only talking about important concerts. Just stop a second when you walk down the the street and you listen to a musician. It’s all a rush. It’s non-sense. Music reminds you that you should stop. Ask yourself some questions. Any questions, even some apparently stupid like “Where am i going?” or “What am i looking for?” … “Why?” and so on.

Stop to listen at him, musicians always have to teach you something. You always learn; the point is to stay open-minded. To listen, for real, that’s how i see it.

There’s the inclination to see “Art” as something that society does not “need” for real… it’s for spineless people that aren’t able to do anything else. Stuff that is not necessary. False. That’s what an ignorant country thinks. A country that has no respect for its own culture, a country that doesn’t read, that justifies violence and stopped asking questions.

(The image of this post is a very very old digital drawing i’ve made of the swedish model Twiggx) If you want yo download it on a Desktop version, here‘s the link!

In Paris again

This time, it’s quite different. Mostly because of the people. I grew up in Paris, but i lost, during these years, the relationships i had with my classmates, friends, with every single person i used to see everyday. I was a litle girl, i had no idea of what was going on, so i didn’t had the time to say goodbye to all these persons.  And now, after 16 years, here we are.

I saw these faces again. I saw how the places i used to live changed. Our lives went on. I always, always had the feeling, since i’ve left this city, that i lived two different lives. That somehow i was two different persons. “but i’m a  million different people from one day to the next” as Ashcroft says in his song (bittersweet simphony with the Verve)… as i spoke two different languages. As i was somehow both french and italian. black and white.

…And now… well, it seems that i can feel a strange, new feeling. I feel like i woke up from a strange dream, realizing that it wasn’t a kind of binary of two different lives but one. One only, my life, and time moved on not only for me. And what is in front of me is not clear at all. There’s nothing of well-defined. It’s all blurry, it’s all to discover.

But i’m not scared like before. Not at the same way at least.

I guess i grew up. I guess i know a part of myself, at the same way i know the streets of Paris, the particular smell of some places. The color of the Seine when i’m there my friends that i know since 22 years, and that i still love from the bottom of my heart.

This things makes us better persons, and deepens the meaning of our being here.

Week’s Diet

A serious self-portrait

Because when i want, i can be a very serious person.
Yes, keep saying this stuff to yourself, Aenis, you fool.

When cars scare you…

When i was 18, i got involved in a car accident. I was a newbie. I had my driving licence since 2 days when it happened.

But i was the one who had the hands upon the wheel. And my elder brother Paolo was next to me.

He wasn’t badly injured, but i felt very guilty: i could had easily avoided the impact, but as i said, i really had no experience at all.

One year later, i was in a car with with some friends of mine. The one who was driving was one of the most stupid persons i knew. Thank to a Ferrari’s driver who were behind us, we didn’t kill ourselves in a huge rear-ending on the highway. Italian people are terrible drivers. I learnt a lot from that accident. I don’t go in a car if i don’t know the driver.

By the way, i always had a kind of “Rally” spirit. Maybe because i come from a family of pilots.

After the accidents, i started to be scared. The only idea to be in the car drove me mad. I couldn’t sleep at night thinking that i had to get somewhere by car. Especially into Rome’s city center. This fear ruined many years of my life.

One day i got tired of this feeling. I was the slave of my own fear. So i jumped in the car with my boyfriend, and drove from Rome, Italy, to Strasbourg, France. We made more than 745 miles in one day. I know that it’s not a big deal if your’re American, you have another notion of what is “distant”, but i assure you that for an European, it’s a long road.

I fought my fear facing it. And it worked. So if you are scared by driving because you also had bad experiences, don’t stuck yourself, it will only get worse. Be conscious, and face it. Everything is going to be all right.

Today i love driving. Even if i’m the traffic. As long as i have my blues and my jazz music with me… i can drive anywhere, even you in Mongolia, if you wish.

The amazing thing of Italy is how the cities are close one to each other. So if you travel by car, you’d make a very nice trip. In the same day you can plunge for feet in the Adriatic sea, touch the snow on mount Terminillo, and then have a bath on the Roman seaside. In few hours, you can reach Florence. Once you’re in the north, it’s all close. 

i discovered it driving. The point is: don’t let the fear for something destroy your freedom.

Just to be clear

photo credit: [phil h] via photopin cc

Just to be clear with you i must say that i was very very VERY uncertain about the music advice of this month. Seriously. “You suggested Coltrane!” you’ll yell at me! I knooow I can hear you!

But i really, really want to suggest you this Great Man too. I really can’t wait June. So… enjoy… John Lee Hooker ladies and gentlemen

i know i just get exited! It’s because of the music!

Oh, no wait, here’s

 

When I’ll be into the Sunset Sunside Jazz Club in Paris next week, I’ll think about you, dear readers!

Thanks for all your feed back! It’s a very big pleasure!